This is a Cinderella dream of mine. I want to write a blog. Drive around in a pumpkin. Maybe get some glass shoes.

My hobbies include golf, caddying, greens keeping, pretending flowers are gold balls, cleaning ponds, giving life advice, killing gophers, and making my shed a luxurious golf pad fit for only the best golfers.

I’m not totally sure what to write here. This is a lot of pressure. I guess I could tell you about the time a was the caddy for the Dalai Lama. That’s right. Twelfth son of the Lama. Flowing robes, grace, bald… striking. I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – giant hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.